Let Me Tell You All About It (Season 2)
Just as life is not just ups but downs as well, this space is not solely dedicated for the happy moments of my life.
Here I am, lying idly on my stomach, alone with my thoughts, haunted by my emotions. With nothing to do, my thoughts cannot help but turn back to it. I try to fight off the wave of emotions surging forth. Deep breaths, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale… It’s of no use as a I feel my face flush and a lone tear soon fell, smearing the freshly written text under the heading February 28, 2005: NCCA Entry =(
A week before the deadline, I was already racking my brains for an idea. I’ve caught wind of another contest. Prize money is to be given to the top three winners. It was quite a long shot considering the number of talented designers around and the fact that I only have a few nights to work on it. I’ve got nothing to lose, I figured and so decided to give it a try.
Before the end of the week, I already had a finished product. Surprisingly, it was the best I’ve made so far. It spelled out maturity in most aspects, uncharacteristic of the works I’ve done before. A sense of pride crept up as I realized that I have reached new heights. While some shared the same sentiment with me, others just gave a ho-hum look when shown the artwork. As much as I’d want to get everyone’s approval before submitting it, I just didn’t have the time nor the resources to create another one from scratch. I ended up making minor edits here and there before finally sending the entry with my fingers tightly crossed.
The results were supposed to be out the week after. I was too naïve to have believed that such schedules were religiously followed and so I patiently waited. Life went on as usual besides the terrible waiting. Monday, the day the results were supposed to be out, came and almost went without me getting any news about it. Almost. My dear officemate, having more faith in me than I have on myself, decided to call up NCCA to ask for the results of the contest. He patiently went through the drudgery of being transferred from person to person only to be told to call back after lunch. When he tried again a couple of times later, he finally had news that the results would be out on the 28th. “See, you still have a chance”, he encouraged. Almost willingly, I held on to that chance despite my own warning against keeping my hopes up.
It must have been that I had other things in mind throughout the week as I soon forgot about the contest and waiting for the results. On second thought, it could have been that I forcibly pushed it out of my mind so as not to be disappointed when Monday comes. On Sunday however, as if magnetized, my thoughts were again drawn to it. I was thinking what my strategy for the next day would be. Should I check the results early morning and be disappointed for the whole day or should I live with hope and wait until the end of the day to be disappointed? The answer seems apparent but my excitement would still choose the former option. Just as I was trying to keep from thinking further, my celphone beeped. I almost dropped the phone as I read the message.
Like wild fire spreading rapidly, the whole of me caught up with the tiny spark of hope that had been ignited. I was a finalist! I made it to at least that far!
I was just too stunned to ask further despite the many questions that ran through my head. Does it mean that they would still pick out the top 3 from the finalists tomorrow and that I still had a chance? Or does it mean that they already have a list of the top 3 and they’ll simply award them the next day?
I now regret not having asked. I also regret not having gone, not that there was a prize to claim. At least I could have seen what my being a “finalist” meant. It would have given my pride a little cushion before the big blow. Cushion or not however, I did get a big blow. Blinking back fresh tears, I can still recall how my heart was pounding wildly as I had opened up NCCA’s website. Gone was the sentence that said winners will be posted on the 28th. In its place was a link, a link to the winning entries. Gosh! This is so it! I had clicked on the link, waited for the page to load, hastily scanned for a red entry, scrolled down, scrolled up, then down again, none. I sank back in my chair, defeated. So much for keeping your hopes up.
I stare blankly at the page before me, willing myself to write down my thoughts, my frustrations. Instead of words however, tears find its way to the pages. As each drop falls, my disappointments magically melt away with it. I finally pick up the pen and beside the sad-faced emoticon, write “Sure was a tough one but I’m back up and ready to try again!” I add three grinning emoticons for added effect.
Here I am, lying idly on my stomach, alone with my thoughts, haunted by my emotions. With nothing to do, my thoughts cannot help but turn back to it. I try to fight off the wave of emotions surging forth. Deep breaths, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale… It’s of no use as a I feel my face flush and a lone tear soon fell, smearing the freshly written text under the heading February 28, 2005: NCCA Entry =(
A week before the deadline, I was already racking my brains for an idea. I’ve caught wind of another contest. Prize money is to be given to the top three winners. It was quite a long shot considering the number of talented designers around and the fact that I only have a few nights to work on it. I’ve got nothing to lose, I figured and so decided to give it a try.
Before the end of the week, I already had a finished product. Surprisingly, it was the best I’ve made so far. It spelled out maturity in most aspects, uncharacteristic of the works I’ve done before. A sense of pride crept up as I realized that I have reached new heights. While some shared the same sentiment with me, others just gave a ho-hum look when shown the artwork. As much as I’d want to get everyone’s approval before submitting it, I just didn’t have the time nor the resources to create another one from scratch. I ended up making minor edits here and there before finally sending the entry with my fingers tightly crossed.
The results were supposed to be out the week after. I was too naïve to have believed that such schedules were religiously followed and so I patiently waited. Life went on as usual besides the terrible waiting. Monday, the day the results were supposed to be out, came and almost went without me getting any news about it. Almost. My dear officemate, having more faith in me than I have on myself, decided to call up NCCA to ask for the results of the contest. He patiently went through the drudgery of being transferred from person to person only to be told to call back after lunch. When he tried again a couple of times later, he finally had news that the results would be out on the 28th. “See, you still have a chance”, he encouraged. Almost willingly, I held on to that chance despite my own warning against keeping my hopes up.
It must have been that I had other things in mind throughout the week as I soon forgot about the contest and waiting for the results. On second thought, it could have been that I forcibly pushed it out of my mind so as not to be disappointed when Monday comes. On Sunday however, as if magnetized, my thoughts were again drawn to it. I was thinking what my strategy for the next day would be. Should I check the results early morning and be disappointed for the whole day or should I live with hope and wait until the end of the day to be disappointed? The answer seems apparent but my excitement would still choose the former option. Just as I was trying to keep from thinking further, my celphone beeped. I almost dropped the phone as I read the message.
“U are 1 of d WEBGISING DIGITAL ART contest FINALIST – AWARDING at malacanang museum, program start 730 am till 11am bukas, Smart casual, - c u! – NCCA-AAP”
Like wild fire spreading rapidly, the whole of me caught up with the tiny spark of hope that had been ignited. I was a finalist! I made it to at least that far!
I was just too stunned to ask further despite the many questions that ran through my head. Does it mean that they would still pick out the top 3 from the finalists tomorrow and that I still had a chance? Or does it mean that they already have a list of the top 3 and they’ll simply award them the next day?
I now regret not having asked. I also regret not having gone, not that there was a prize to claim. At least I could have seen what my being a “finalist” meant. It would have given my pride a little cushion before the big blow. Cushion or not however, I did get a big blow. Blinking back fresh tears, I can still recall how my heart was pounding wildly as I had opened up NCCA’s website. Gone was the sentence that said winners will be posted on the 28th. In its place was a link, a link to the winning entries. Gosh! This is so it! I had clicked on the link, waited for the page to load, hastily scanned for a red entry, scrolled down, scrolled up, then down again, none. I sank back in my chair, defeated. So much for keeping your hopes up.
I stare blankly at the page before me, willing myself to write down my thoughts, my frustrations. Instead of words however, tears find its way to the pages. As each drop falls, my disappointments magically melt away with it. I finally pick up the pen and beside the sad-faced emoticon, write “Sure was a tough one but I’m back up and ready to try again!” I add three grinning emoticons for added effect.
posted by cheanne at
10:25 pm
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3 comments
